Weekly World News
Tuesday/September/07 2010 Filed in: Entertainment / Media
Couple Flees Talking Bear!
Long before there was The Onion, there was an outrageous tabloid called Weekly World News.
The name sounds innocent enough but this publication made the National Enquirer look like the Manchester Guardian.
The newspaper existed somewhere out there in the media ecotone that lies between what most people thought was truly ridiculous but what some twisted few out there believed was hidden, conspiratorial truth.
Bat Boy was a running gag.
Bat Boy was a hideous half-human, half flying rodent creature who was somehow discovered by WWN every few months or so doing some crazy thing or another.
The magic behind WWN headlines was to take something totally preposterous and then give it an added nonsense that somehow, ironically, lent a bit of twisted credibility to the whole thing.
Reporting that a talking bear had been discovered just wouldn't have been enough of a story for WWN.
No, they needed an angle with that special something. How about a couple fleeing a talking bear?!
Now that's a headline!
And doesn't it make you wonder just what the bear was saying?
Maybe, "Hey you! Come back here!"
Weekly Word News ceased publication in 2007.
Bigfoot needs love, too!
It's clear in the photo that the lumberjack is not just love-smitten but suffering from a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome as well.
What really caught our attention on the lumberjack-love front page was the story at the top of the page.
If you can't read the small print under the photos of the sneezing man it says, "Reginald Kaulman reenacts his hurricane-force sneeze for photographers."
Hurricane-force indeed! His now bald as a cue-ball wife says, "it was worse than Hurricane Andrew."
Now that's bad.
Once again, in keeping with the WWN protocol, just having Einstein's brain come to life just wouldn't be enough, now would it?
But if it destroyed Cleveland, now you're talking!
Interesting that Bush renaming the planets falls below the fold.
A little off the top?
Things were always exploding in the WWN world. If it wasn't a patient exploding on an operating table, it was a man's head exploding during a trim.
It could have been worse for this guy, of course. Reginald Kaulman could have sneezed his hair off.
Perhaps the one story WWN got right.