Classic TV Stars Sing! ...Almost...


Beam Us Out of Here, Scotty!

If William Shatner's 1978 rendition of Rocket Man wasn't a bona-fide Sign of the Apocalypse, we don't know what was. Somehow we survived that and a whole host of other singing TV stars along the way.

TV Westerns

Lorne (Ben Cartwright) Greene - Bonanza

It's a little hard to believe that someone with as rich and mellifluous a speaking voice as Lorne Greene could have sounded quite this ragged when he tried to belt out the Bonanza theme. Maybe Little Joe and Hoss could have done backup. By the way, looking at this photo, who knew that Adam was so short?

Star Trek
William (James Tiberius Kirk) Shatner - Rocket Man
We imagine the people in the audience wish they could have used Priceline plane tickets to get them the hell out of there before Shatner chewed up all the scenery during this performance. The good news for Shatner was that he found his niche and 30 years later he's still at it on Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show.

Leonard (Mr. Spock) Nimoy - Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town.
Your choice. Does Spock deserve the Alien Nerve Pinch to spare you from listening to this...or do you want to give a poor Vulcan a chance? For our money, he represents the USS Enterprise a little better than Captain Kirk.

Star Trek, The Next Generation
Brent (Data) Spiner - Toot Toot Tootsie
It's obvious Data has acquired his emotion chip as he belts out this 1920's hit. Don't you wish he'd done a number like this as the yellow-eyed android on Next Gen?

Miami Vice
Don (Sonny Crocket) Johnson - Heartbeat
Sonny Crocket may have relied a bit too much on the hook to get him through this too-long number. Actually, we don't think Don did a bad job singing, but the song itself is a little repetitive, even for the mid-80's. Keeping up with the heart idea, he followed up this release with a song called "Heartache Away"

Philip (Rico Tubbs) Michael Thomas - Just the Way I Planned It
This video screams 1980's MTV, doesn't it? Don Johnson's wing man tries his best here without too much to work with.

Read other Apocalypzia posts in the Entertainment / Media category.