Sleeping at Your Own Risk: Nighty Nite!


That Was Then
Life was simpler in 1988 when this Nytol commercial was in heavy rotation. Getting a good night of drugged-out-rest was as simple as popping a pill.


Andregrindle

This Is Now
Sleeping Aid commercials devote a little more time to disclaimer information today than the old Nytol commercials in the 1980's.

We're confident that today's sleep aids are safe, thoroughly tested and FDA approved. Some of their necessary legal disclaimers, though applying only to extremely rare cases, are a little scary for us, however.

Disclaimer excerpts from websites of popular sleep aids:

"Until you know how you will react, do not drive or operate machinery. Plan to devote 7 to 8 hours to sleep before being active."

One Possible Layperson's Translation: Treat yourself like a lycanthrope on the cusp of a full moon. Lock the door and chain yourself to the bed.


"Sleepwalking, and eating or driving while not fully awake, with memory loss for the event, as well as abnormal behaviors such as being more outgoing or aggressive than normal, confusion, agitation, and hallucinations may occur."

One Possible Layperson's Translation: You may get in your car, drive to a bar and get into a brawl with a real guy there -- or maybe one you merely imagined -- then drive back home and forget it all ever happened.



"Do not take it with alcohol as it may increase these behaviors. In patients with depression, worsening of depression, including risk of suicide may occur. If you experience any of these behaviors contact your doctor immediately."

One Possible Layperson's Translation: Ease up on the Happy Juice. You may get so much rest, you want to put a gun to your head and end it all.



"Allergic reactions such as shortness of breath, swelling of your tongue or throat, may occur and in rare cases may be fatal. If you have an allergic reaction, contact your doctor immediately."

One Possible Layperson's Translation: If you should asphixiate yourself and die accidently, call your doctor immediately.



Maybe counting sheep isn't such a bad idea, after all...