Designer Jeans: How America Bottomed Out in the 1980s

brooke shields

Calvin Klein - Jailbait Jeans
There's something disturbing about the following commercial. Maybe it's that Brooke Shields was only 16 when it was made! The tagline was supposed to be risque and innocent all at the same time. Having Brooke whistle "Oh My Darling, Clementine" while sitting spread-eagle was someone's idea of a good commercial.

Maybe they were right. The nothing between Brooke and her Calvins was a topic of conversation for much of the early 1980s.

Jordache Jeans: "You Got the Look I'd Like to Know Better"
It's hard to believe that white stitching on your butt could turn heads at a party, yet once upon a time jeans were fashion statements and status symbols. That was then.

Now you can buy Jordache Jeans at such fashion-forward retailers as Sears and Wal-Mart.

Lee Jeans - Attitude!
This mid-1980's commercial screams MTV in the worst way. It was a different place and a different time where and when our jeans, were like, you know, about an attitude, man.

Bonjour Jeans - Ac-tion!
While Jordache and Lee were doing the more mainstream kind of marketing at the time, Bonjour decided to go all edgy and everything. Even with its I-Dream-of-Jeannie special effects, this commercial couldn't have cost more than 38 bucks to make.

Bon-Jour! Ac-tion! Bon-Jour!

Chic Jeans - Sex and the City Disco-Style
We don't know how anyone was ever inspired to go out and buy a pair of jeans after watching this commercial but some MadMan must have thought it had potential. But we don't think the company had much confidence in their jeans since they were ready to give you a free skirt if you'd just buy a pair.

Read other Apocalypzia posts in the TV Commercials category.